Eventful trip to Wal Mart today

**MikMo** · July 1st, 2007, 02:59 PM

I made the ghastly mistake of going to Wal Mart today...especially with today being the first of the month. Unfortunately, I didn't think about that till I was practically in the parking lot. Starting off with the parking lot, it was full of the parking lot cruisers, people who are too lazy to park too far away from the store and walk. My philosophy is go around twice, if no spaces relatively nearby aren't available, I'm not too good to walk. Anyway, I notice a car pulling out ahead with somebody waiting to get the space. So, I stop and allow the one car out and being courteous, waited for the other driver to get in. Well, he must have thought I was going to try and steal his spot because he nearly hit the car that was pulling out. Then on top of that, he gives me a big smirk on his way past. He looked like Vijay Singh on a bad hair day. So I go on around and there's someone else waiting on a car to pull out in the next row. Thing is, the car that was waiting had an open space right there and was blocking it. That just ticked me off that somebody was that dammed lazy to see a parking space right beside them and have to wait on someone who was only 3-4 spaces up. So I went on and parked in Bum-f*ck Egypt. Finally get inside Wal Mart and it was packed beyond belief! Moreso than the first of the monthers, it was time for the church crowd. Seems like everywhere I had to go, there were two to three people gathered around just shooting the breeze. Then, I saw this family with a young boy and girl. Nothing out of the ordinary, right? Well, the young boy, who was about 10-11, had a red satin button up shirt...kid was looking like a pimp. The little girl, 8-9, was looking normal until I happened to glance at her shoes. Little girl was wearing high heels with clear heels! (You know what Chris Rock said about clear heels!) Plus, with straps that went plumb up her calf. I was just stunned in disbelief at these children. First thought was where did they go to church at? I guessed it must have been the 10am morning service at the Mouses' Ear. Well, after that, my shopping day was over, so I went to check out. But in usual Wal Mart fashion, they had 1,000,000 people in the store, with 4 checkouts running. So I had to stand in line for another 25 minutes waiting to get the hell out of there. Moral of the story: Never go to Wal Mart at noon on a Sunday on the first of the month. (especially wearing clear heels!)

**MikMo** · July 1st, 2007, 03:08 PM

If you're not familiar with Chris Rocks' routine on clear heels, here it is:

WARNING: COARSE LANGUAGE

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**retiredteach** · July 1st, 2007, 03:21 PM

You belong on Comedy Central. You would make a fortune just being yourself.

**LPDfanincarolina** · July 1st, 2007, 03:30 PM

What Walmart were you at?

**imported_elp6n** · July 1st, 2007, 03:32 PM

I'm going to wager a guess and say Norton, since it has become the first-of-the-month-check and food-stamp capital of Wise County.

Has anyone else noticed that many of those using food stamps have taken to doing all their own checking out at the self-checkouts? Seems to be a trend. They sometimes have two carts overflowing,checking and bagging it themselves... wonder what's up with that...

(Disclaimer: some people have a legitimate need for state help and that's ok. Many though, simply abuse it.)

**MikMo** · July 1st, 2007, 03:44 PM

Oh...and lest I forget while I was in the checkout line! After it seemed like time was standing still while I was waiting, I finally got to the register. The guy in front had just moved out and I gave my buggy a gentle tug to pull it on up and begin unloading. (Makes me think: Why the hell doesn't Wal Mart have bag boys? Guess you have to pay for those low prices with some inconveniences) Well, I give the shopping cart a tug and it's not moving, so I turn to see what the problem is and this Mexican womans' shopping cart is right up on my carts' rear. Her kid is leaning out from the front of her buggy with one hand on mine, and the other reaching for a bag of chips I had. Well, I look at the mother, expecting her to reprimand her child...she just sits there like she's wanting the kid to start plundering my buggy. Well, I give my buggy a yank, releasing the childs' grip, with the mother now giving me an "I could run you over if I was in my car" look. Dirija atrás a la frontera, mam, y tome a su niño pequeño de thieving con usted

**SunTzu** · July 1st, 2007, 04:36 PM

I so enjoy shopping Target over Wally , there is no comparison . I wish my local Target was a Super Target so I could grocery shop there also . My work takes me into 9 different Targets including a Super Target and I have observed the difference in clientele . Can you say "night and day" ? Wally is in a class all by itself in it's demographics , most of which were alluded to in your observations above .

**imported_elp6n** · July 1st, 2007, 06:18 PM

I miss Target. I'm looking forward to the new ones opening in Bristol & K'Town.

**SWVA-Football** · July 1st, 2007, 08:41 PM

WalMart sucks. My brother and I have a nickname for idiots standing around not doing anything and getting in your way while in the store: Aisle-cloggers.

Has anyone else seen these people? I swear to God, they'll stand right in the way talking or just staring at something even when you know they see you and are too ridiculously stupid to get out of your way. This is especially bad in aisles that are not wide enough for two people, and one person stands right in the middle instead of scooting up a bit so that you can squeeze past them.

I also hate people who park buggies in the aisle horizontally so that it's practically blocking the entire aisle and you can't get through.

Let's also not forget when you run into goofballs who shout and run around in the store like a bunch of five year olds. In the Lebanon WalMart, I think this is where I saw this crap going on .. a group of morons that looked about 15-17 years old were playing Guitar Hero on a display and periodically setting down the guitar and chasing one another through the store. I swear, I wanted a cop to appear out of nowhere and crack one over the head with a nightstick or something.

With that said, I absolutely hate going into WalMart. The place makes me feel nervous as hell as it is, but the idiots (both in the parking lot and the store) really make it a hard place to shop without leaving and never wanting to come back. Let's also not forget when you're leaving the place and the stupid security alarm goes off even when you've stolen nothing at all, making everyone look over in your direction and then you have to sit there and let the person check the receipt, etc. etc.

WalMart sucks. Too bad it's the only real "store" left in this area besides K-Mart, but I can't talk about that place without vomiting a little.